There has been times in the past where I have made out a situation to be worse than it is. My aim was to manipulate my target to offer assistance, or even just a bit of gratitude, and a shoulder to cry on. This is called playing victim. Sure, I might have been a genuine victim in some sense of the word. However on many occasions, I took advantage of this knowledge and emphasised the facts of the situation to make myself seem worse off than I truly was. It became a habitual way of thinking (mind), and eventually became a way of feeling (body), and affected my relationships with my friends, family and partners, but most importantly, the relationship I have with myself. I disliked myself because every time I looked for someone to blame, the finger kept pointing back at the perpetrator, who was also the victim. Me.
Recently I became, and am still victim to circumstances, that could be in complete control of. Had have I succumbed to the temptation to strategically lie, I could have manipulated myself clear of my present circumstances. In saying that, I choose to keep a positive mindset and to look at the present situation for what it is, not what how I can play it off to be in order to try and get as many people to feel sorry for me as I possibly can.
I even try to those that are playing victim, how they are playing victim, with the aim of helping. It usually ends with the outcome of me being accused of being the perpetrator. These are the worst kind of victims, and should be referred to as narcissists.
Ever had the feeling that all your friends no longer want to hang out with you? You most likely weren’t lied to by your senses. It is most likely these friends started to see you as an energy leech, and felt better by avoiding you.
Those who play the victim card, are required to lie in order to convince themselves of true innocence. These people have built up imaginary walls and limitations, to which their minds and ways of thinking are confined to the detours these walls and limitations guide them down. These people have become victim to the way in which they have trained their mind to respond, making them the true perpetrator. This type of person creates the reality where they are being disadvantaged. Tying themselves to the idea of bad situations, makes their reality, seem worse than it truly is. It also represents a form of control that can be used to guide somebody towards wanting to help. This is the true goal the acting victim aims for.
Ways in which we think become habitual. Think like a victim, and we shall feel like a victim. This wreaks havoc on the nervous system, triggering the feeling of depression and detachment. This is in the form of a rush of adrenaline, leading to make a decision between the fight or flight response. Adrenaline is the feeling of stress. Fight or flight, is the way in which we choose to react to stress. The more often we make the choice, to fight or to take flight, the more likely we are to take this course of action the next time we get this rush of adrenaline, due to the nature of habit.
Are you more likely to tell somebody to fuck off and turn things around on them when you are confronted? Or are you more likely to run away from your problem and deal with the stress alone? Both ways are not healthy.
Fighting, or in most cases, turning the situation around on somebody else is you puffing your chest out and inflating your ego in a staunch manner. This leads to a sense of superiority and will be fuelled by an already existing sense of superiority. In most cases, this leads to detachment, depression, and anxiety. The starting point for even worse and less forgiving mental illnesses. If the fight is backed by the double edged sword of truth, both parties will be cut down in the attack, but leaving both people vulnerable but their true, naked selves. A form that both parties take, required before true reconciliation, can occur. Usually the ego disallows any chance of this outcome, which is why self-reflection comes hand in hand with deconstruction of the foundations that give true strength and stubbornness, to ego.
Running away from the confrontation is usually supported by fear. Fear of being uncovered for lying, made out to be the bad person, or in fear of being rejected. Fear of being rejected usually stems from not wanting to burden others with unnecessary problems which is the most noble, but worst kind. All these things lead to a feeling of superiority, detachment, depression, and anxiety.
Imagine feeling as though you are right about everything, but can’t express it because you feel too detached, upset, and worried about how you may reflect on others? Not a great mixture of thoughts. These thoughts lead to painful feelings and ultimately, self-destruction.
The key to overcoming these feelings is by changing our thoughts. Think a thought for often and long enough, eventually it will become a habit. Happy thoughts evoke happy emotions, and a healthy body that isn’t constantly under the attack of stress. Peace of Mind.